An unnamed but reliable source in the commissioner’s office has leaked the following information.
In an effort to better control the viciousness of the game, hostile behaviors on the field, and to limit player injuries, the commissioner has proposed the following rule:
An elevated platform will be situated behind each team’s bench.
A fat guy will sit on each platform with a supply of 20 cupcakes.
The cup cakes may be in team colors and can be of any flavor. No glazing or sprinkles are allowed except for holiday games and the Super Bowl.
Each time a referee calls a contact penalty on his team, the fat guy must eat a cup cake.
If a team runs out of cup cakes the game is over. The team automatically loses the game, regardless of the score and the time remaining on the clock.
The cup cake rule also revises overtime in an effort to limit injuries and hostile behaviors. The football is over and the victory is decided by
That is the most brilliant idea I’ve ever heard.
The best part is that this is a position that the average fan could actually play. Most football fans don’t have the physical aptitude to play, say, quarterback. But even the laziest 350 pound tub of lard can now dream of being an NFL star!
I also love the possibility that the cupcake eat-off could come down to an instant replay challenge. Instead of throwing the red flag for that, the coaches should be allowed to wad
| Nov 24, 2010
Will the Patriots be stealing recipes from across the sidelines?
whisperdawg | Nov 24, 2010
Well, that’s creative. That’d be awful though! A cupcake eat-off to determine the winner of a football game, haha. Pretty funny idea though. I have no idea where you came up with this sh!t.
Lisa | Nov 24, 2010
If JaMarcus Russell ever plays again, then the game will be over in two minutes…
Friendly Stranger.. | Nov 24, 2010
Re: JaMarcus….only if the cupcake is flavored like purple drank.
p m | Nov 24, 2010
this is crazy is it TRUE because if it is its a dumb idea. The Cupcake guy has nothing to do with the game and shouldnt be involved. if this rule passes its the end of football
Morning_Glory | Nov 24, 2010
That is the most brilliant idea I’ve ever heard.
The best part is that this is a position that the average fan could actually play. Most football fans don’t have the physical aptitude to play, say, quarterback. But even the laziest 350 pound tub of lard can now dream of being an NFL star!
I also love the possibility that the cupcake eat-off could come down to an instant replay challenge. Instead of throwing the red flag for that, the coaches should be allowed to wad
Nate | Nov 24, 2010
I heard scouts are searching carnivals and obesity research centers for possible recruits. The rule will be officiated in the 2012 season. Starting with a fat guy draft in April 5 days before the NFL Draft. They must have a clear health background to reduce fat man injuries.
bryan3X6X0 | Nov 24, 2010
This is silly and ridiculus but FUNNY
Noelia #2 Due Oct 1st! | Nov 24, 2010
Love the rule..
Guys like JaMarcus Russell and Wade Phillips could still have NFL jobs.
tyfooone | Nov 24, 2010
Okay I am a fat guy and I want to put my application in for the cupcake eat eating job , let me see if I get this right , they do not have frosting on them ???? How about those chocolate with the coconut on the inside , will that be okay for my team and on holidays we can have frosting and the Super Bowl . When will I hear from Goodell ??????
mrfrijo | Nov 24, 2010
Consider the fact that an SEC team has won the national championship four out of the last six years and that either Alabama or Florida will play in it AGAIN this year and then tell me the SEC is overrated.I cant wait for the SEC to win the national championship game again this year and shut all of you SEC haters up for a while.And please spare me all of the "the refs are bias ",and "Alabama or Florida almost lost to _______" Almost winning doesn’t count.Also don’t forget Alabama started the last two years playing Clemson and Virginia Tech who were both highly ranked when they beat them.I don’t think that SEC teams play any more cupcake teams than any other conference does.
One thing I have learned from this site is…
You just can’t listen to all the jealous hate spewed forth by all the detractors. These people are more concerned about the SEC than their own pathetic conferences. They are just pissed that their losing team is out of it and make up every excuse and reason they can think of to try and belittle Alabama or Florida’s success. I just read the mindless dribble and laugh as I know that I would rather my team still be in the mix rather than my
Bam- Quack Dammit! | Nov 30, 2009
Any conference would win those games if they played them at home like the SEC does. Plus, most people have moved on from football by Bowl season and actually do schoolwork. The SEC doesn’t have that problem.
Then there is the fact that the top SEC teams always avoid playing each other but they all always seem to play Vandy and Miss. State and Kentucky, and the fact that they play the weakest out of conference schedules of any conference.
Liberals Suckass | Nov 30, 2009
No one wants to listen to a stupid blonde chick!
Get outta here!
Don't Tazer Me Bro! | Dec 15, 1955
Consider the fact that Alabama is 43rd worst state in education.
Lee | Nov 30, 2009
One thing I have learned from this site is…
You just can’t listen to all the jealous hate spewed forth by all the detractors. These people are more concerned about the SEC than their own pathetic conferences. They are just pissed that their losing team is out of it and make up every excuse and reason they can think of to try and belittle Alabama or Florida’s success. I just read the mindless dribble and laugh as I know that I would rather my team still be in the mix rather than my
Bam Bam | Nov 30, 2009
haha
pac 10 owns
SEC fans are starting to get worried because they know the pac-10 is right behind them, and they don want that
Good Looking Frat Boy | Nov 30, 2009
I just don’t understand how people can root for conferences. When did it come out of style just to root form teams? Growing up in the states that make up the Big 10 I never once met a Ohio State that would root for Michigan in a bowl game or visaversa. When Ohio State lost to Florida years ago in the National Championship, I’m sure there were just as many celebrations in Michigan as their were in Florida. Thank God this doesn’t cross over to professional sports. Can you imagine a Yankee fan bragging
freemanbac | Nov 30, 2009
Not an SEC hater – facts are facts – but the facts are that the majority of the voters are from the east and south – so when it comes time to decide between 1 loss or 2 loss teams that make the championship game – it usually comes from the SEC. There is no way that LSU deserved to goto the championship game when they had 2 losses – they jumped from 7 to 2 – maybe that was a make-up call for when they finished undefeated and got snubbed in the USC-Texas game. And last year I believe that USC was the
scole_67 | Nov 30, 2009
Bama girl you don’t have to explain this to anyone two teams at the middle of the Sec pac whipped the Acc Championship contenders last week. Now imagine that. The Mountain West Conference dominated the Pac-10 and Boise State beat the eventual Pac 10 Champ, if Oregon gets upset the Rose Bowl Contender Oregon St will have 3 losses. When can you say since the early years of College Football Have they had a conversation about the Sec Championship game is for the National Championship. BE PROUD SEC SEC
Joseph B | Nov 30, 2009
According to all the USC fans on here USC is always underrated and deserves to be in the national title no matter what cupcake PAC 10 team they lose to in the regular season and they are still doing it even though they lost for the second time to a admittedly probably not underrated PAC 10 team but were seriously spanked. I have yet to see this underrating that USC fans claim the always get in fact i think that it has just been exposed that USC has consistently been overrated.
No, it’s simple football: If you can’t stop the run, you will lose.
Buzz Killington | Oct 31, 2009
What’s USC’s record against other conferences?
Enough said.
11 NFL Hall of Famers produced | Oct 31, 2009
USC might not be overrated, it’s just that Oregon is pretty much unbeatable when they are at home.
Breeze | Oct 31, 2009
They had to of that wasn’t USC football
Michael S | Oct 31, 2009
SC guy, listen. USC lost to Oregon. SO tomorrow when USC is number 12 or 13 and Oregon is 6 or 7, you can cry yourself into dreamland. My Longhorns beat them 4 years ago and could do it again. USC was overrated. They were considered a top team with an inferior record and this proves that that wasn’t a fluke.
To answer your question, no they didn’t. USC just got their @$$es handed to them.
koko | Nov 01, 2009
No. USC switched uniforms with the band.
Rob B | Nov 01, 2009
I’ve been at my job for 5 years now. Yesterday was my 5 year anniversary. I work in an office at a national nonprofit organization which has about 17 people on staff including the ceo and executive vp. I came to work today, and I didn’t even get a "Happy Anniversary" or a simple thank you. Yesterday was also my ceo’s birthday so today they had food and cake for him which is fine…but they also had two birthday cupcakes AND a card that we ALL had to sign for an interns birthday…an intern who started Today! And I didn’t get any kind of notice for my accomplishment! I think 5 years is a big deal (and at this place, trust me, 2 years is a big deal!) And I know at least one executive staff member knew because she gave me an update on my personal time last week and reminded me that I now get the extra 5 personal days per our employee handbook. I’m so disappointed, but I’m not sure what the typical protocol is for this kind of thing.
Well, two years ago they had a big thing
It is not typical to celebrate the 5 anniversary at a job. You may be due for an evaluation and perhaps a raise in salary at this point, unless you are contracted. A party for a VP certainly doesn’ mean that every worker gets it. Frankly, I think you are being childish and immature about this. Take yourself out for a steak.
Old Mister Happy | Jan 12, 2010
It is not typical to celebrate work anniversary dates. Im 41 yrs old, been working since mid teens, and have never seen such a celebration.
JC | Jan 11, 2010
Just depends on the workplace. I’ve had some jobs (with big companies) that you were acknowledged at 1, 5, 10, etc. and got to choose a gift/prize from a catalog.
Other jobs, nothing.
Has anyone else had a anniversary celebration before? It sucks that you didn’t get recognized for something you feel is an accomplishment but people are self involved. Unless you tell everyone for weeks in advance (or you’re the CEO) you’re probably not going to get anything.
Bring your own cake
Mel | Jan 11, 2010
I have worked in libraries most of my adult life. Here, work anniversaries go unnoticed unless we say something. Then, most of us say ‘Happy Anniversary’ and something like "Time flies, etc."
Not gifts, cards or anything. We celebrate birthdays and big events like weddings, birth of children, etc.
The executive staff member who let you know about your milestone could have said, "Happy Anniversary. We’re glad you are with us." (or words to that effect).
Yes.
What we sometimes do at quarterly meetings is read the names of people who hit 5 or 10 year milestones during that quarter. But nothing was ever done on the day.
Jayinem | Jan 11, 2010